[MUFFLED THUMP OF MUSIC]
[DOOR BANGS SHUT]
HEY.
GOT YOUR CALL,
SO... HERE I AM.
WHAT'S UP, STOCKBOY? GOT SOMETHING TO TELL ME?
YEAH, I HEARD UH...
I HEARD "CLOWN ACADEMY'S" AWESOME.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH.
THANKS FOR THE MOVIE TIP.
WHY DID YOU REALLY CALL ME HERE?
THIS IS THE GUY YOU TOLD ME ABOUT?
YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT ME?
JUST SHOW AARON WHAT YOU GOT
BEFORE HE LOSES HIS TEMPER.
OXYCODONE.
SWEET.
YOU DID GOOD.
$800.00
WOW, I KINDA NEED MORE.
HERE'S ANOTHER $400 -
TOWARDS YOUR NEXT SCORE.
ADMINISTRATION FEE.
SO THERE YOU GO, STOCKBOY.
THERE'S YOUR FIRST DRUG DEAL.
[VOMITS AND COUGHS]
CROWD: [CHUCKLING]
♪ Whatever it takes
♪ I know I can make it through
♪ If I hold out
♪ I know I can make it through
♪ Be the best
♪ Be the best I can
♪ And I say to you
♪ Whatever it takes
♪ I know I can make it
♪ I know I can make it through
TOBY: SHOWER MASSAGER, HELLO!
AND A GREAT VIEW OF THE YOGA STUDIO
ACROSS THE STREET.
MAN, THOSE HONEYS ARE FLEXIBLE.
FIRST AND LAST.
I DON'T KNOW, KID.
I GET THE FEELING I COULD BE TAKING
A REAL BIG RISK HERE.
BUT YOU'RE NOT, OKAY?
MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WE'RE VERY QUIET,
WE'RE VERY RESPONSIBLE-
LANDLORD: VERY PREGNANT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU TWO CAN AFFORD THIS PLACE?
RAISING KIDS AIN'T CHEAP.
YES, I'M AWARE, SIR,
BUT I'M ALL OVER IT.
I'VE-I'VE GOT A GOOD REALLY JOB.
ALL RIGHT.
WELCOME TO THE BUILDING.
[BABY CRYING]
FEVER STILL UP?
EAR INFECTION, THE SEQUEL.
I CAN DROP YOU OFF.
[BABY WALES]
YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY TO DRIVE ON TWO HOURS SLEEP?
I'M ON A FIRST-NAME BASIS AT THE HOSPITAL.
I COULD GET THERE WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
DINNER IS-
MEATLESS MEATLOAF MONDAY, AS USUAL.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GO AHEAD.
I'LL BIKE, ALL RIGHT?
CRAIG: BYE GUYS.
SIMPSON: NOW THIS MUST BE JEREMIAH MOTORS'S
FAVOURITE NEW CLIENT.
DIANE BOUGHT A CAR
AND THE SALESMAN WAS A NO-CHARGE OPTION.
[WEAK CHUCKLE]
I'M ARCH- SNAKE.
SO YOU'RE THE NOTORIOUS SNAKE.
STILL TEARING UP THIS PLACE LIKE YOU AND JOEY USED TO?
UH SADLY, NO.
I'VE BECOME ONE OF THE TEACHER I USED TO GAVE HEADACHES TO.
HEY, HOP IN. WE'RE HITTIN' THE OPEN ROAD.
TOP DOWN, WIND BLOWING THROUGH OUR... YOU KNOW.
I GOTTA PUNCH THE CLOCK.
JOEY: JUST AROUND THE BLOCK, SNAKE.
BE SPONTANEOUS.
JOEY, IN MY LIFE SPONTANEOUS IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD.
MY FRIEND, YOU GOTTA LEARN HOW TO LIVE.
DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF.
YOU DESERVE TO.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
ALL RIGHT. CIAO!
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT JOKING.
I'M DEADLY SERIOUS.
LET THE DAYS OF SINFUL COHABITATION BEGIN.
TWO DAYS AGO WE COULDN'T AFFORD THIS.
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
I UH... I TALKED TO MY GRANDMA
AND SHE'S LOANING ME THE MONEY.
THE WAY SHE HANDLED THE PREGNANCY NEWS,
I'M SURPRISED.
WELL, IT TOOK A LOT OF PERSUADING
AND SHERRY.
JT, THAT'S AMAZING!
SO WHEN DO WE MOVE IN?
AS SOON AS WE TELL YOUR PARENTS.
I WAS HOPING WE COULD SKIP THAT STEP.
BUT WE HAVE TO TELL THEM, LIKE TODAY.
MRS. VAN ZANDT: EXCUSE ME?
YOU'RE DOING WHAT?
LIBERTY: I'M MOVING IN WITH JT.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
SO YOU CAN- SO YOU CAN BE WITH HIM?
I HAVE A NAME, SIR.
I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.
WELL, YOU WILL BE, OKAY?
BECAUSE I'M THE FATHER OF YOUR FIRST GRANDCHILD.
MRS. VAN ZANDT: [SQUEALS]
MOM, DAD,
PLEASE TRY NOT TO BE ANGRY.
[LAUGHS]
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING -
OURSELVES, THE BABY.
EVERYTHING.
DAD, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY?
THAT I'M HAPPY? THAT I'M PROUD OF YOU?
I KNOW. I'M STUPID.
SO STUPID.
MR. VAN ZANDT: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, LIBERTY.
IT'S THE FAULT OF THAT FOOL STANDING BESIDE YOU.
STOP IT, DAD.
OKAY, JT'S BEEN AMAZING.
HE'S TAKING GOOD CARE OF US.
MRS. VAN ZANDT: LIBERTY, YOU'RE OUR DAUGHTER,
AND WE'LL HELP YOU ANYWAY WE CAN.
WHICH IS WHY WE CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO MOVE OUT.
WE NEED YOU HERE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS -
AS A FAMILY.
I GET IT,
YOU WANT JT OUT OF THE PICTURE.
I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM HERE AS LONG AS I LIVE!
WELL, THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
BECAUSE JT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
JT, LET'S START PACKING.
LOOKS LIKE SNAKE SHED HIS OLD SKIN.
DON'T MAKE ME THINK ABOUT HIS SKIN.
SO THAT MUST BE YOUR SPORT BIKE
PARKED IN THE LOADING ZONE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
BOLD NEW LOOK FOR THE SCHOOL?
SOMEWHERE VALENTINO ROSSI
IS WALKING AROUND IN HIS UNDERWEAR.
GRAZIE.
NO IDEA WHO THAT IS.
MOTO GP WORLD CHAMPION.
AH, I GATHER THIS IS A NEW HOBBY?
YES, IT IS.
BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT
I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE A MOTORCYCLE FAN.
YEAH...
ROCK ON, MS. H.
JUST MOVE THE MOTORCYCLE.
PRONTO.
LIBERTY: EXCUSE ME, SIR.
BY WHOM MUST ONE BECOME IMPREGNATED
IN ORDER TO RECEIVE SOME SERVICE?
NOT IN THE MOOD FOR PITHY BANTER?
NOT SINCE I REALIZED
I'LL BE SPENDING EVERY WAKING MOMENT HERE
IF WE'RE GONNA LIVE TOGETHER.
WELL, ON AVERAGE,
A BABY GOES THROUGH TEN DIAPERS A DAY.
THIS JOB'S WORTH IT FOR THE EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT.
MR. MCKAY: JT.
WE SEEM TO BE MISSING SOMETHING.
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
NO ONE'S BEEN BACK THERE. HONEST.
YOU DON'T THINK SOMETHING'S BEEN STOLEN, RIGHT?
NO. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING'S BEEN STOLEN.
RIGHT. WELL...
I JUST GUESSED
BASED ON YOUR WORRIED EXPRESSION.
WELL, WE'RE MISSING A GREAT DEAL OF OXYCODONE.
IT'S A POWERFUL DRUG,
SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY CONCERN.
YUP.
YEAH, IT'S-IT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING,
YOU TELL ME, HUH?
WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF A RELATIONSHIP?
I DON'T KNOW. LOVE?
HONESTY.
SO TELL ME, HONESTLY,
THE MISSING DRUGS AND THE APARTMENT -
NO RELATION?
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA.
YOU STUPID, THOUGHTLESS, IMBECILE!
YOU WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING.
OW! STOP!
YOU COULD GO TO JAIL.
YES, THAT THOUGHT CROSSED MY MIND.
THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?
WE NEEDED THE MONEY, OKAY? BAD.
LOOK, I'LL JUST- I'LL GET SOME CASH
AND I'LL BUY THE DRUGS BACK FROM THE DEALER.
AND THEN I'LL GIVE THE DRUGS BACK TO THE PHARMACY.
AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, OKAY?
HONEST.
WAY TO GET MY HOPES UP.
TOBY: COME ON FIT. IT'S FOR CHARITY!
JT: LIBERTY MADE IT LOOK SO EASY.
TOBY: REMIND ME NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING ELSE OFF HER PLATE.
IS THE LAST PARAGRAPH OF AN ARTICLE REALLY NECESSARY?
I COULD SHOW YOU A TRICK OR TWO
FOR A PRICE.
ANYTHING. NAME IT.
$1200 DOLLARS, TODAY.
[CHUCKLING] I'LL PASS.
TOBY, I'M SERIOUS.
OKAY, WELL, GET THE MONEY BACK
FROM YOUR LANDLORD.
I ALREADY TRIED, OKAY?
IT'S NON-REFUNDABLE.
LOOK, TO GET THE RENT MONEY,
I HAD TO DO SOMETHING - BAD.
AND NOW I NEED TO UNDO IT,
OR I'M IN TROUBLE.
TOBY: OKAY, FINE.
BUT WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET $1200 TODAY?
DON'T YOU HAVE BONDS OR SOMETHING?
[LAUGHS] ARE YOU CRAZY?
IF I TOUCH THOSE BONDS MY MOM GOES BANANAS.
JUST SCREW IT, OKAY?
I NEED HELP!
OF A MENTAL VARIETY.
TOBY, I'M ASKING YOU NICELY.
I NEED THAT MONEY.
JT, YOU NEED TO LET GO.
NOW.
SEE? THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? GET AWAY FROM ME!
STAY AWAY.
SIMPSON: HARD TO BELIEVE THAT JACK IS ASLEEP
AND WE'RE ALL SITTING DOWN TOGETHER, HUH?
PLEASANT SURPRISE, ACTUALLY.
TALK ABOUT SURPRISES!
WHAT ABOUT THE JAW-DROPPING ARRIVAL
YOUR HUBBY MADE AT SCHOOL YESTERDAY?
SPIKE: EXCUSE ME?
WHAT DID HE DO?
POP A WHEELIE ON HIS BICYCLE?
YOU DIDN'T KNOW?
EMMA? BEANS?
DIDN'T KNOW WHAT?
SOMEONE FILL ME IN HERE.
OH UH...
JOEY HAS A FRIEND WHO'S SELLING A MOTORCYCLE.
LOANED IT OUT TO ME FOR A FEW DAYS
TO TRY IT OUT.
YOU'RE BUYING A MOTORCYCLE?
WITH WHAT - COUCH TREASURE COINS?
I WAS GOING TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU WILL. LATER.
I CUT YOU SOME SLACK, STOCKBOY.
BUT I'M RUNNING LOW ON PATIENCE.
WELL, THAT MAKES YOU A PRETTY BAD DOCTOR THEN, DOESN'T IT?
HA HA. SPEAKING OF DOCTORS,
AARON IS CONSIDERING SENDING YOU TO ONE.
SO YOU MIGHT WANNA QUIT WITH THE JOKES.
I GAVE YOU AN ADVANCE.
WHICH I NEVER SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR, OKAY?
I'M GONNA GET YOU ALL OF YOUR MONEY BACK.
REALLY?
YEAH, BUT I JUST NEED YOU TO GIVE ME THE DRUGS BACK - ASAP -
SO THAT I CAN GIVE THEM BACK TO THE PHARMACY.
[NERVOUS LAUGH] DUDE, DON'T.
THAT'S IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW...
I RUN THE SHOW.
AND I DON'T WANT MY MONEY BACK.
I WANT MORE DRUGS.
I'LL GO TO THE COPS.
AND WHAT?
WHAT, YOU GONNA GET YOURSELF THROWN IN JAIL
FOR STEALING DRUGS?
THAT'S A SMART MOVE.
JT, JUST GET THE MAN WHAT HE WANTS.
THIS WILL ALL BE OVER.
MR. MCKAY: HEY! COME BACK HERE!
JT, CALL SECURITY.
I CAUGHT THIS SHOPLIFTER RED-HANDED.
YEAH, SURE. SURE THING.
HOW WORRIED SHOULD I BE?
I'LL DRIVE CAREFULLY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IS THIS THE START OF YOUR MIDLIFE CRISIS?
AH, "THE TALK".
SPIKE, IT IS A MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
THEN WHY ALL THE CLOAK AND DAGGER?
LOOK, DAY IN, DAY OUT,
I'M MR. STRAIGHT AND NARROW, OKAY?
IT'S WORK, FAMILY. WORK, FAMILY.
IT'S JUST SO PREDICTABLE, HUH?
SORRY IF WE'RE CRAMPING YOUR STYLE.
HEY, I'M HAPPY TO MAKE SACRIFICES FOR YOU
AND FOR THE KIDS,
THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN ROUTINE.
TELL ME WE HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I WISH I COULD.
WE'LL GO TO MY PARENTS.
WE'LL GET THEIR HELP. MY DAD'S A LAWYER.
I DON'T NEED A LAWYER.
I NEED A SUPERHERO
TO KEEP A DRUG DEALER FROM KILLING ME.
WHAT DRUG DEALER?
THE GENTLEMAN WHO FINANCED OUR APARTMENT.
HE MADE ME STEAL AGAIN.
AGAIN?
BUT MR. MCKAY WAS ALREADY SUSPICIOUS!
HE'LL CATCH YOU!
MAYBE NOT, OKAY?
MAYBE MR. MCKAY WON'T NOTICE.
AND MAYBE I'LL TOTALLY GET AWAY WITH IT.
AND MAYBE WE'LL BE FINE.
I THOUGHT YOU'D CHANGED.
I THOUGHT YOU'D GROWN UP.
LIBERTY, I HAVE CHANGED.
YEAH.
NOW YOU'RE A DRUG DEALER.
JT: HERE.
NOW GO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE.
WHAT?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!
HUH?!
HEY, EASY. EASY.
I GOT HIM. EASY.
I GOT HIM!
YOU GOT ME INTO THIS.
YEAH, AND I JUST SAVED YOUR BUTT.
OR WERE YOU TWO GUYS GOING TO KISS?
NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF MY BUSINESS
WHAT TEAM YOU PLAY FOR.
JUST ASK THE GIRL WHO'S CARRYING MY KID.
UH-OH. BUN IN THE OVEN.
YEAH.
AND THANKS TO THESE,
I'M DEAD TO HER.
COME ON, MAN. IT'LL BE OKAY.
IT'S OKAY?
I LOST MY GIRL.
I LOST MY BEST FRIEND.
I LOST MY JOB AND MY FAMILY.
AND NOW I'M PROBABLY GOING TO JAIL.
HEY, BUMMER TIMES.
LEAST THERE'S A PARTY.
WORKING LATE AGAIN?
NOT RIDING THAT BIKE OUTSIDE,
ENJOYING THE LAST RAYS OF SUNSHINE?
I'M GIVING IT BACK.
IT'S THAT OR THE WIFE.
MMM...
MY EX HAD A CHOICE ONCE:
ME OR THE INTERN.
SOME PEOPLE MAKE YOU WONDER, HUH?
TOO BAD ABOUT THE BIKE.
IT REMINDS ME OF THE ONE I USED TO OWN.
WOW.
TRYING TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THE IDEA
OF YOU ON A SPORT BIKE.
WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO FIGURE?
BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN?
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY PRINCIPAL.
WELL, I USED TO BE A WILD CHILD IN MY DAY.
A LOT HAS CHANGED.
BUT I STILL LOVE MOTORCYLES.
AS A MATTER OF FACT...
I WAS GONNA ASK YOU FOR A RIDE.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
JAY: HEY, CHECK IT OUT.
STOCKBOY'S GONNA BE A PAPPY.
AARON: HEY CONGRATS, STUD.
THIS ONE'S ON ME.
[LAUGHING]
ACTUALLY, IT'S ON ME.
[LAUGHTER]
JAY: HEY. HEY BUDDY!
HEY!
SOMEBODY GET THE CAR!
HE'S FAST, HE'S FURIOUS,
HE'S COVERED IN KEVLAR!
HEY SNAKE.
GOOD MORNING, JOEY.
I GOING TO NEED TO TALK TO THAT FRIEND OF YOURS;
ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER.
OH, DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE HOW THE COOL-ECTOMY GOES
BEFORE YOU GIVE THE SUIT BACK?
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
THIS IS FOR THE KEVLAR
AND THE WHEELS THAT GO WITH IT.
SNAKE...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED.
MR. VAN ZANDT: I SPOKE TO MR. MCKAY.
TRIED TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION.
WE'RE GOING TO TRY TO WORK OUT A DEAL.
BUT DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH.
THANKS, DAD.
MR. VAN ZANDT: YEAH.
JT: STOMACH PUMP ONE.
JT ZERO.
HOW CAN YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT THIS?
COUNSELING,
SUICIDE-WATCH?
BELIEVE ME, IT'S NO JOKE.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE GETTING HELP.
JT, DID YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF?
[CRYING]
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
LEAVING ME ALONE WITH ALL THIS?
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY TOO.
LIBERTY, I SCREWED UP, OKAY?
DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THE BABY.
WE BOTH SCREWED UP.
I'M GOING TO THE ADOPTION AGENCY.
JT, IT'LL BE FOR THE BEST.
[CRYING]